Summer Behaviors

“My kids have been acting extra wild, is this normal?” Summer break is a common time for behaviors to change. Some kids will have increases in behavior. Behavior is often a form of communication in any age group, so try these cheats to help beat those summer spats.

Set Schedules

People thrive on routine. Having a set schedule helps eliminate guess work and helps our brain know what to do. To have added support, encourage your child to participate in making the schedule, such as planning what day of the week you might go to the beach, or having a set night they pick out dinner. I've linked a FREE Summer Visual Schedule by Fun First Therapy | TPT!

Visual Aid

Have a visual breakdown of the day, the week, or the month. This way, your kids can see the plan. For some kids it would be best to create a visual schedule with pictures rather than words.

Put the Tech Down

Video games and electronics are awesome; a game of Mario Cart is a fun family event. However, your child being on their phone, or tablet for extended periods of time is not healthy. The human brain is not meant to focus on a screen most of the day. I recommend setting expectations for tech prior to using it, such as the amount of time, or the apps your child can use. Tech is often one of the biggest triggers for arguments. Setting standards and following through with them are highly important.

Physical Activity is a Need

The body and brain are connected. Go for a walk, take your kid to the beach, or ride bikes as a family. Sending your kid to play in the yard isn’t a bad thing, but if you are sitting on your phone while telling them to play, that can send a mixed message.

Rested & Refreshed

Summer break often means that sleep schedules are all over the place. Sleeping in is not a bad thing, but having a mess of a sleep schedule creates a back-to-school nightmare. You can adjust sleep schedules over the summer, but a set schedule that allows a full night’s rest is key. Tired kids are often unregulated. Sleep is preventative for bad moods.

Give the Reason

“Because I said so” is not going to give your kid the answer they need. Give them the reason. They often ask to better understand the situation, or reasoning. Their brains are still developing, and this is how they learn. Give them clear reasons, and understanding. It’s okay to say “mom’s not feeling well”, or that it wouldn’t be possible.

A/B Choices

Kids, and adults appreciate choices. Want to give your child the ability to make a choice, but control the options? Give A/B choices. For example, you could give them the choice of where you go out to dinner but set the limits. “Do you want to go to Mango's, or the Bento Bowl tonight?”. You give the set places you can go and express the time. Your child gets to provide their input, and you don’t have to cook! A/B choices can be used for multiple situations, and even with your spouse.

Use your Supports

Tag in the adults in your life. We are not meant to do things alone. Have grandma take the kids to the park for a couple hours while you decompress. You need a break as well. Being stressed out limits your ability to redirect situations that could often be small. A stressed out and overworked parent isn't typically great at regulating an upset kiddo. Have a friend bring their kids to your house to tire your kids out. You get a nice chat, and your kids have someone else to play with!

Ask for Help

Be honest with your spouse when you need a break or need them to help co-parent. We can’t be 100% all the time. Sometimes there will be situations where the other parent is better set to handle it. Avoid tackling a situation alone when you're already feeling tapped out.

You have to be the Bigger Person

Your kids’ brain is not fully developed. An upset child, with a caregiving meeting them at the same heightened level, is not going result in a good outcome. You need to come to the situation calm, or tag someone else in. Model taking a deep breath before talking with your child, when you are both upset. If you are yelling, or being rude, so will your child. You give what you get, and kids will directly mirror what we give them.

Calm Vibes

Let your kid calm down before sharing more information. Consequences are natural, and behaviors need them, however, I do not recommend listing all the things you're taking away as a result of their behavior, while your kid is in the red zone. Let your child calm down before you go over "stressful things", such as reviewing what happened and the resulting consequences.

Hangry

Keep kids water bottles full, and have prepared, easy-to-reach snacks in the pantry. Many kids don’t realize they are hungry 'till it’s at the point of hangry. Having set mealtimes, ready anytime snacks, and protein rich options sets your child up for a good day.

Enjoy the Season

Summer is a time to relax. We often focus on getting as much out of it as possible, but sometimes we need to keep things simple. Spend a weekend at home instead of packing up for an overnight camping trip; have the kids camp in the backyard instead or make s'mores at home. You can still make summer memories without breaking the bank or putting too much on your plate.

I hope you enjoyed this post!

-Sophie Butcher MSW, LMSW